i think i have said this like a hundred times or so already but i must still say this again.

i hate packing =(

looking at all the random things around brings back fond memories of lotsa lotsa events lotsa lotsa people that i once knew once shared once cared.

its just tough to destroy all these little evidences of those shared memories, things that associate me with them. having the knowledge that i'll never see these things ever again, maybe even forget the existence of them just makes me soooooo reluctant to part with them.

have you ever chanced upon a scrap piece of paper that you and your friends scribbled over during a lecture in jc and chuckle at the funny n lame things written on it? realising that the few of you will never ever sit in the same lecture hall and listen to the same lecturer, will never have the opportunity to write silly things like that, wouldnt you be reluctant to throw that scrap piece of paper, throwing away that shared fond memory? thats the very evidence of the few of you attending the same lectures, listening to the same lecturers, having common identity, similar thoughts. would you bear to throw that?

i'd wished for a photographic memory, for a memory that can last me a lifetime, able to recall and retrieve images, sounds etc in an instant.

been on a holiday mood after the tough paper ended on fri. was so worried about it that i didnt even want to go sleep for the fear that i will forget to study something that will come out. it was a good paper though, but didnt have good time management. left like 8 marks blank of which 1 entire qn that i know how to do =(

well was too tired to do any studying so in e end we went for lunch at maccas n then to northland to walk walk n enjoy the air con coz it was soooo hot! the walk to maccas made me feel like my skin is going to burn off any moment! it was good timing coz when we came back, it started raining! hooray! =)

then shan n i watched lan qiu huo for like 7 hours straight? hahahaz i rewatched the first few episodes w her (but i did a lot other stuff at the same time - pack my notes, skype n call my mum, shower n fold my clothes). it was sooo funny it kinda made us really relaxed n laughed like nobody's business! if u r wondering what happened to qing, she decided that her sleep is more impt! coz i think she prob only slept for like 3 hrs? in the end they more hiong than me on fb! hahahaz

hmm ytd wasnt a good day though. started off alright, went to preston to get some fruits home, then head down to city to collect my camera. which gave me a whole lot more trouble n misses here n there which i'm tooo upset to talk abt now.

then fel shamay ker n i went to essendon dfo to shop! it was alright for me though but the other gals all got stuff! so it was good! then sent shamay n ker to airport for their flight to adelaide T_T
haiyoh next time i see ker will be like next yr n next time i see shamay will be i dunno next yr also? though in msia lar. hahahaz

so all in all i haven started studying (its not even revision coz i haven touched the manual for the entire sem) rmh. n i forgot all the stats stuff T_T all those probability stuff seemed so alien n then there's like t test n such. n its super rainy n gloomy ytd n today that i'm in no mood to study either. forced myself to wake at 730am today but act only woke at 8am n now its like 10am n i haven done anything.

BUT

yes but! i hopped on to facebook n saw this! really teared towards the end.

n i'm feeling a little more motivated!

last stretch! i must jia you!



it matters how you are going to finish. its not the end, have hope.

most important stretch of the entire exam period for me.

the unit with the heaviest weightage and highest and most important content.

and i'm camping on facebook just in case some other speechies ask some golden question that i'm not sure of and it gets answered!

gosh i really feel i learnt a lot alr but there's still soooo much more to rmb! n i wonder if i'll be awake enough to actually think properly tml!

=X really really worried for this paper. kinda feel like my answers tml will be v airy fairy, not deep or precise enough coz i doubt i really have space in my brain to memorise exact words. can only understand and hope i can crap my way through it. n coz its a lot of application, not much use to memorising stuff anw.

rahhhh. i really want to and need to do well for this paper! if i lose more than 6% i wun get my A, then i cannot save my other crappy units. =(

n today is a super frustrating day.

student online doesnt allow me to re-enroll. not sure why. then to my horror i realised on my record, my sponsor haven paid my sch fees for 2 yrs! faints!! BUT after calling n emailing them, they've actually paid till april this yr. so i guess they just havent updated the system. then my entire log in screen is like totally different from everyone else. the hcs admin person called me n realised its something v new to her too! so she's going to help me add the units manually one by one tml. waste a few hours of my afternoon worrying.

n then there's my camera prob! i sent it in for repairs since aug 29 n its like now nearing end of nov n its still not ready for collection =( called like dunno how many times alr, but apparently the fault lies in the sony repair centre n not with harvey norman. n they arent offering me any form of compensation. harvey norman knows i need my camera soon, they are apologetic but its not their fault n they cant really do anything abt it either, but they decided to give me 200 free prints when i come back from my hols next yr.

haix. so thats why my afternoon was all burnt out. but then i got myself a nice iced mocha which kinda lifted my mood a little n got me thru this late night studying. it was kinda funny coz i asked for no cream, then end up there's ice cream in it! hahahaz coz the other shop is really just ice n e drink.

alright back to the notes! i must nail dysarthria now! i think i kinda got most of what i need for dysphagia alr i hope. haven gone thru paeds motor speech again yet. neuro stuff seemed pretty much there except the exact test for each cranial nerve.

i guess once u really get them, its not that difficult/confusing n its getting really interesting n fun! i hope the exam qns will be as encouraging as the past yr paper in the lib though its only 2 of them n it was like 10 yrs ago?!

a really unproductive day today. was really sleepy and when i was alert, my mind was actively thinking about all other things other than the notes in front of me. we are all so hyped up over holiday plans and future plans and things we want to do in like 5 yrs from now i think.

hahahaz at least it felt right, like how i used to study in hc library. i think i'm getting used to studying at that corner - feels a little bit more productive than anywhere else! even a short nap there felt like how it was in the past.

i need to focus tomorrow! jia you jia you! it'll be over soon!!!!

today's paper was terrible =(

1.5hours to write like damn lotsa stuff. can die totally man. i didnt even touch like 20over marks worth of questions =(

just sooo upset about it. coz i took sooo many days to internalise all the info learnt and i really felt i learnt a lot and that i really took effort to remember a lot of things but either they dont come out or i didnt get to attempt the questions coz there's not enough time! =(

its like requiring you to write an entire answer booklet in 1.5hours! thats like 20pages in 1.5hours! state and explain = 1 mark, list with examples = 1 mark. one concept map that illustrates all the relationship between all the information on the case history (which is 1page long) is like 20marks. identify 3 priorities for intervention based on the concept map + 3 short term goals + explanations of why they are most impt = 7marks. n there's like 100marks in the entire paper that is to be completed in 1.5hours. tell me, who can actually complete such a paper?

the questions arent that difficult, they are reasonable - in the sense that it is really testing us on how we apply the knowledge and concepts and skills learnt. integrate everything and use creative thinking to generate intervention plans or solutions or strategies. but to require us - novice clinicians according to the dreyfus model, to do all of that in 1.5hours is just plain crazy. i am like 99.99% sure that even the experts will not be able to do so in 1.5hrs - that is if all the information to be put in has been organised and memorised prior to the exam. the 0.01% is for the one expert with like ungodly writing speed and instant recall and regurgitation of information.

oh well, so in the end we were all too distraught to do anything else for the day. n i decided to make use of the time to pack my luggage. gosh i cant believe it! i'm like going home soooo sooon!!! it totally doesnt feel like it this time round i guess! maybe coz my things are like still all over the place and we're all like dying coz of the stupid exams with crazy examiners, one whom just killed all of us this morn who also didnt come to school for the last 2 wks of sem to even inform us of the exam format or what is required for us to know in the exam. hence we had to read our manual which is like 300over pages (some even printed 2 to 1 page as they are photocopied from books) and lecture notes with like only questions n group discussions n no concrete information. alright, i'm still shaken and bitter about the exam =(

okay back to the topic, so i did most of my packing today - all the clothes that i'm bringing home and some food items that i've sorta bought at various places over the semester. and then we facebooked and watched lotsa videos like taylor swift mvs, some wedding video with the best man n buddies in super heroes costumes that got us laughing. n some really funny sharing session b4 shamay n fel go for their paper - abt rollerblading and teeth which really made us laugh like there was no tomorrow.

n then i cooked and washed up - tried some new dish that i was sorta inspired from what i had at the korean rest last sat n it turned out not too bad. hmm then decided to help my cousin research a bit on wedding prep coz i'm supposed to be one of the bridesmaid but i have totally no idea what i'm supposed to do and what is it all about. n looking at all those pretty dresses and pretty weddings and awesome photos just make me want to either 1. get married or 2. be a wedding planner! hahaz and there has been discussion on how our weddings will be like when we get married - tons of different opinions and ideas that seemed really interesting. i'm pretty sure i'll have mine like super elaborate coz its a once in a lifetime thing u know! but then again, financial constraints will be one huge factor, which kinda placed most of us into 'i need to marry a rich guy' mode. hahahaz. well well, but i'm pretty sure when we all find true love in future, it wouldnt really matter if the guy is rich or not, so long as he loves me n i love him will suffice. meanwhile, whats wrong with having fairytale daydreams?

so all in all, my day wasnt that bad afterall! i just hope that i'll manage a B somehow (coz apparently even if i get full marks for this paper i'll just get a mere A, so i guess leaving 20marks blank kinda dashed that hope).

gotta pick myself up and get back to studying for friday's paper - worth 50% and i can only spare like 6marks if not i'll lose my A as well. haix, why have i lost so many marks in all other assessments? i will and i must nail dss! all the neuro stuff! n perhaps put it into good use when i get back for attachment in dec this yr! kinda excited! =D

oh oh n last night, i even checked out all the theatre/musical/productions i can catch while i'm in s'pore. n to my disappointment i'll miss ttp's poor theatre series again! =( this time its -ing!
check this out! http://blog.omy.sg/ttp

really really want to catch -ing but it'll end before i get back =( =( =( n i realised i've watched almost every single one of their poor theatre series - except 1 in 2006 and those after 2008.

hmm n there's a musical 'beauty and the beast' directed by hossan leong, starring the dimsum dollies. kinda interesting n i might be able to catch that (if i think i have money to spare T_T)

ok ok i should get to bed alr

hahaz i found the video that gracie blogged about!

TALL ENOUGH



and chanced upon this one that i thought i've seen before but maybe it didnt finish loading or my ie hanged. really sad though. reminds me of proposal daisakusen.

Leave Me

Leave Me from Daros Films on Vimeo.

totally not what i should be doing but well i think i'm feeling stressed coz my break is like 2 hours long now T_T

went to watch the time traveler's wife ytd as a last meet up with jaey before she goes home.

it was a really sweet movie. not as sad as i thought. a friend mentioned its resemblance to benjamin buttons and come to think of it, it really does! but not as sad as benjamin buttons. perhaps thats why. and perhaps its coz rachel mcadams who was in the notebook movie that left us close to tears and feeling super duper sad - so in a way this movie wasnt as sad as the notebook.

now i'm really curious how it is like in the book. somehow all my housemates read the book alr except me. hahahaz.

well, the whole idea of time travel is kinda scary in a way. having all the knowledge of the future somehow will change things i guess. like in the lake house. oh well, shant go into the specifics as i should totally get back to studying.

had dinner at big mama korean restaurant w jaey, hongjian and joanna - a sorta last meet up for the nz gang as joanna is going back for good alr. it was nice catching up w everyone and i guess all the laughter over dinner made us all miss the nz trip with all the rubbishy stuff said. n as usual hj was picking up a gal from the table beside us who was out with a date! hahahaz we sorta talked to her when the guy left the table. hahahaz super typical of him man.

alright, 2 more days to my first paper and i'm feeling alot of tension alr. and my entire house is taking their first paper on 17th. imagine the kinda stress level felt in the house. T_T